3:33am，很無聊，整理一下自己的CV。這兩年來的學術output如下 (不能稱之為成績，output是一個比較客觀的用字):

Articles
“From Rose Mary to Rolls Royce: Denise Ho x Wyman Wong. Queerness in Denise Ho’s Music” in Fe/male Bodies. Debut Issue. November 2005. Kubrick: Hong Kong. pp 62-8.

“The Carnal Hand and Fetishism in Wong Kar-wai’s The Hand” in Cinema in/on Asia. (ed) Shin Dong Kim and Joel David. Asian Culture Forum 2006. Gwangju, Korea. pp. 279-94. (Winner of the best three graduate papers presented in the panel “Whither the Orient” at Asia Culture Forum 2006).

Creative Works
“The Importance of Having an ‘R’”
Yuan Yang, 2001 June. English Department. The University of Hong Kong: Hong Kong.
Moving Poetry. 2002 Summer. Edited by Shirley Lim and Page Richards. Hong Kong University Press: Hong Kong.
Also appeared in Shirley Lim’s essay “Cultural Imagination and English in Hong Kong”. Asian Englishes Today. Hong Kong English. Autonomy and Creativity. Edited by Kingsley Bolton. 2002. Hong Kong University Press: Hong Kong.

“Haruki Murakami. A Spring Tree Above the Village”
Yuan Yang, 2001 June. English Department. The University of Hong Kong. Hong Kong.
Karawane:A Journal of Experimental Performing Texts. Issue 9. 2007 (10th Anniversary Issue). p. 31.

“The Evolution of Beard”, “Hymen” and “City of Sameness” in Fe/male Body: Bodywise. July 2006. Kubrick: Hong Kong.

“The Evolution of Beard”, “Hymen”, “City of Sameness”, “Fingernails”, “The Lunatic’s Penis” and “Suicide with McDonald Suk Suk” in Special Hong Kong Edition of Asia and Pacific Writers’ Network (APWN). (ed) Xu Xi. November 2006.
Links:
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/fingernails/
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/the_lunatics_penis/
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/hymen/
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/the_evolution_of_beard/
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/city_of_sameness/
http://www.apwn.net/index.php?/writing/more/suicide_with_mcdonald_suk_suk/

“Suicide with McDonald Suk Suk”
Yuan Yang. Vol. VII, no. 1. 2006 Decmeber. Department of English, The University of Hong Kong. Hong Kong. pp. 9-14.

Featured poet of The Other Voices International Project. Vol. 26. 2007 (http://www.othervoicespoetry.org/vol26/nwong/index.html)

Film Reviews
On Wong Kar-wai’s The Hand. Scope. An online journal of film studies. Issue 4. February 2006. Institute of Film Studies. University of Nottingham. http://www.scope.nottingham.ac.uk/filmreview.php?issue=4&id=123

Conference Presentations
“When Eros Lies in The Hand of Wong Kar-wai”. The 27th Annual Meeting of the Southwest Texas Popular Culture and American Popular Culture. Albuquerque, New Mexico. 8-11 February 2006. (Speaker)

“A Different Kind of Friendship – Reading the Homosocial in Johnnie To’s Election”. The Film Scene: Cinema, The Arts, and Social Change. The University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong. 21-22 April 2006. (Speaker)

“The Carnal Hand and Fetishism in Wong Kar-wai’s The Hand”. “Wither the Orient” in Asia Culture Forum. Kimdaejung Convention Centre in Gwangju, Korea. 26-29 October 2006. (Speaker)

“Nations in Transition” in Asia Culture Forum. Kimdaejung Convention Centre in Gwangju, Korea. 26-29 October 2006. (Discussant)

“The Obsession of the Ears: Reading Haruki Murakami’s Blind Willow, Sleep Woman and A Wild Sheep Chase” in Postgraduate Departmental Seminar. Department of Comparative Literature, The University of Hong Kong. Hong Kong. April 24 2007. (Speaker)

“Reading the Eye as a Haunting and Desirable Organ” in The 2007 International Conference on Inter-Asian Culture, Communication, Conflict, and Peace. City University of Hong Kong. Hong Kong. 4-5 May 2007. (Speaker)

很想這幾天日本地震，
或香港再次淪陷。
一是你死，
或是我亡，
如此，結局便會輕鬆得多。

***********************

一對手找不到好對手，
一個口卻篇出好藉口，
一雙眼看不透小心眼，
一對耳又到那處閃躲。
我的胸口，猶如威尼斯，
逐秒下沉，凹陷，凹陷，
當水平線淹沒我時，
呼吸不到的絕不只我一個。

yUAN YANG VOL 7出啦，我的故事乃是劣作，但不竟也是虛榮吧。

另外還有一本関錦鵬的書會出，雖然不大愛阿關的電影，但也應支持下，因為有Jason和張美君的文章吧。http://lib.hku.hk/friends/reading_club/bt2007_6.html

現在正讀老細講無間道的新書，頗informative，不太難。 值得一看。

又有人說我應該讀PhD了，不讀就是浪費了。該怎辦?

很想在這裡寫點東西，但幾天也寫不出來，結了巴，結了疤。
Charles生日飯食得蠻開心，看見他打開禮物的一刻，我便滿足了。
病了這麽多日，狀態下滑了，做甚麽事也上不了心。
昨天的Seminar還可以，多謝來的和沒有來的，心照啦，不宣啦。
買了Feist及一峰的新albums，要時間慢慢聽，陳百強的歌是永遠也會窩心的。

有這麼多刻想起了你，還是收拾細軟吧，
很想避靜一下。

當你未放心
或者先不要走得那麼近
如果我　露出斑點滿身　可馬上轉身

早這樣降生
如基因可以　分解再裝嵌
重組我　什麼都不要緊　假使你興奮

幾雙手　幾雙腳　方會令你喜歡我　順利無阻
你愛我　別管我　幾雙耳朵 共我放心探戈

如何承受這好奇
你有沒有愛我的準備
若你喜歡怪人　
其實我很美

臨別亦想聽得到你講: 「再見。」

昨晚在周老師家跟她和Joseph渡過了一個蠻relaxing的晚上，談了很多東西，有愛情，エ作，聖若瑟和小方。在北京帶回來的爆米花很好吃，很像曬乾了的粟米。但現在不知是喉嚨痛還是扁桃腺又發炎了，發着微燒，希望明晚沒事吧，Charles 生日飯嘛。

運，用完了，UCLA的Russell Leong說星期二不來做我的respondent了。失望得很。

Send給Upstreet的Submission竟然不被接納，有點意外，不打緊。

和 Joseph 吃了個lunch，買了個蛋糕給Vanessa，她很意外噢。

自覺今日在英皇很productive，不錯。晚些應該會去周老師家聊聊，很久沒見了。

昨天終於和 Department內兩個新 PhD 學生吃了個飯，她們是從內地來的，人很nice，難為她們要忍受我的國語。多謝馬然給我的小禮物，雲南的小磁石，紅河會待一個適合的機會才抽，那張從布拉格拍到的照片已釘在我家書桌上的板上。謝！

也多謝Iris給我占卜了一下，今年會有兩個很難攪的小人，十面埋伏，要防之。

早餐吃着媽媽準備的豆沙包，下午回港大聽同事的 seminar，下星期二到我了，多謝Glory的來臨。 題目為: "The Obsession of the Ear: Haruki Murakami's Blind Willow, Sleep Woman and A Wild Sheep Chase"。

I will rock! Just wait and see.

〈大了〉

人大了，無常了，
自我大了，自尊賤了，
髮線腿了，視線也濛了。
很想下午喝啖甘菊茶，
想想十年廿年的變化。

人大了，懵懂了，
古板了，自己變成古董了，
皮膚焊了，神采不飛揚了。
歷史英雄不是了，歷史是了。
拿破崙也可屈就做蛋糕吧！

人大了，想法多了，
體質差了，睡眠少了，
壓力大了，面脥消削了，
舊愛累積了，朋友生疏了，
書本和影碟當個老伴了。

人大了，想找過伴了，
過一些滿足簡單的生活了。
難相遇了，難相處了，難相愛了，
傷了，人大了，
連無名指也彎曲了。

打了兩場排球，很累了。抽了一次筋，點知仲要俾人話，離譜！但很開心，打波時可以完全集中。打了頗多果得分波，破攻能力高了，連後排攻也有得分，唯獨是防守很弱。奇怪是小跳發多次破壞對方一傳。

收到了 Men and Masculinities回覆，文章不被取錄，不打緊，零期望，但高興是信封上寫上 Dr. Nicholas Y. B. Wong，滿足了自己虛榮了一天。

很不行，很想求救，永遠不會忘記悄悄離開你家的勇氣，臨走前折返在漆黑中看了你五分鐘，吻過面脥才離去。很少人看過我哭，傷透了，十行眼淚也不夠流。

狂花了很多錢買夏天 Tees。 Aiya.

<唇薄萬>

新詩和煙絲，
配得那樣痴。
唇薄卻命硬，
吸口純薄萬。
自以為得天獨厚，
終有一日要回收。
每當點起一支煙，
便想是誰，
同時怪我腦袋，
天花拼亂墜。
原諒我的思緒，
踫一踫我咀，
多親一點豈可有罪。
詩人為情人，
避世並獻身，
習慣時刻無病呻吟。
很想彼此也是水晶球，
看到底蘊多剔透。
吸一口，想得出，
講不了，寫下來，
寫下了，看不見。
只見煙灰缸內灰黑點點，
衣袖沾上血汗和煙臭。

今天起看新書: Ian McEwan 的 On Chesil Beach，每日一萍果，一鮮奶，加溏心風暴。

24号 Departmental Seminar，有UCLA 的 Russell Leong 做Respondent，勁！

關心我的，了解我的，認識我的，愛著我的，掛念我的，在乎我的，緊張我的，我把以下的送給你們。不必明白我寫什麽，只要認同一下，鼓勵一下，讚賞一下，便足夠了。我很疑惑，請告訴這兩年的時間，精神，和心血沒有白花。

http://www.othervoicespoetry.org/vol26/nwong/index.html

昨天打了場半年來最滿意的排球，休息夠了，力量也大了，擊球點也高了。多謝CC set了唔少靚波。感覺二傳手的信任，心情也豁開了。進攻拿了些分，攔網也有，防守和一傳也穩了。發球質量也不錯，有平衝和飄向底線的，也有一些蠻可以的跳發。小平拉還是要捉緊些。最愛在二号位高點强攻。


說三道四，不如不如，
我聽，我想，我走。
可愛，不可愛，可不愛，
矜貴，不矜貴，經歷過便不矝貴。
在乎，在那裏乎？
我到，我心，我手，我和我。
我進，我攻，我逼完又迫，
我退，我守，我反覆，我變。
永恆不永恆，一變乃懸念，
否定跟空間，寧靜隨決定，
寧可愛其有，不可索其無。
有與無，想和念，
憑何定，憑何進，憑何喜，又憑何憂。
戰戰競競的來，
憂憂愁愁的走，
想玫瑰，無玫瑰，也枯萎，
想菊花，有自憐，兼自賞，
回味着懷念，舌尖和跟前，
看到變天之景象，
一變歸不變，
不變乃命數。
窮，力窮，運窮，氣數窮。
動盪時代，富不了英雄，
做大雄，做大人，
當不起高手，低手要承受，
我停，我留，我繼續想，
信、望、愛。

4月6日中午，在hifi裏播了他的歌。很好聽，有點淒美，又有點寄盼。是悲觀的向前行，還是樂觀的懷緬？實在有點攪不清。

邊想邊講我邊走
直到回頭路上
花也沒有　綠草也沒有
只餘小沙丘
你快聽聽 聽聽 你聽聽
在我背後千里外
甚麼也沒有
只餘風沙吹奏

<候斯頓之戀>

看了Mulholland Drive 四十分鐘，睡着了。

再忍了一個多鐘，放棄了。

真不明白為什麽人家把David Lynch 捧到上天，劇本完全唔make sense，每個shot都多餘地長，故弄玄虛。真忍不了。

還是Half Nelson好得多。主角是一名fucked-up的中學歷史教師，他說history就是changes，有changes就是有兩股對衡的力量在角力。他自己吸毒，抑鬱，自己一直來就是自我世界裏的subculture，跟出面正正常常，開開心心的mainstream，永遠也格格不入。這也是'half nelson' 的意思 (half nelson 是摔角中鎖頸的術語)。

他在最 fucked-up 的時候領略了自己教書的原因，他說: The kids helped me focus。很對，很有同感。

The Lost Room

一口氣把成個season 的七集看完。就是停不了！其實意念不算新，1961年有New Mexico的Sunshine Motel 內發生了怪事，房內每一件物件都有超能力，大慨也和叮噹差不多，但如果把叮噹放進Matrix 內，那就不得了！這套劇涉及很多後現代理論: reality vs irreality / unreality, time vs space, fetishism vs religion, God vs beings, Coincidence vs Determinsim... 總之信我，這齣戲一定要看，一定比X File 更大迴響。

楊小姐有新歌了，叫<化>。每次她的歌也有我能 identify 的地方。他朝一日我真的化時，我想領悟會更深。

別離未算久 別漫談如摯友
令清修的我再失守別凝望太久
令面容如刺繡 像一針一血的引誘
一巴一巴 情感打不化
沒碰著你再愛誰未算假
必擔心下半生 何苦不信任緣份
談多幾次心 自然就似情人
唯有甘心無需等的別要等
庸碌一世沒遺憾
人家不費心亦能恩愛互吻
誰說別人未襯 情不必太深
若能不執著你 誰不懂去互吻
淚還未轉圈 便被人嫌我怨
扮開心果也夠辛酸
舊情未算短 令別人如副選
像他的衫也該 你穿
收得多花 遲早火花都化
未信共對上百年未愛他

如果戀愛為結婚 如果擁抱為名份
何苦等半生 沒人沒有情人
如果甘心誰的心可及你狠
誰肯恩愛亦榮幸
難刻骨銘心
亦能找到護蔭
忘愛自然合襯

Movie-going Part I (scattered thoughts; disorganized)

I just watched Dark Matter a few days ago from the film festival. I knew about this film around one year ago and I was so looking forward to it, simply because of the cast: Meryl Streep with Lau Ye 劉燁。It's actually an average movie, with too many shots in between which somehow weakened the plot. There's not much going on in the story and I, as an audience could not be moved by the desperation of Lau. But as a research postgraduate, I certainly understand how he feels. And I asked myself, if I were him, I would probably do the same thing.

Is American-ness or Chinese-ness more stupid? The Americans are portrayed as the ultimate power that cannot challenged by the Oriental. Yet, the ironic part lies in the twist that it is the Chinese (Lau) who is individualistic, not the American. Is the film glorifying Chineseness or denouncing Americanness? The issue is confusing the audience when the whole plot can go nowhere else but being forced to wrap up in violence and suicide.

Color Me Kubrick - Another film about fans and star culture. John Malkovich again - after doing Being John Malchovich, he is now playing a schizophrenic who thinks he is Stanley Kubrick.

John Malchovich (actor) --> John Malchovich (character) --> in a movie about himself, himself being himself, and others being himself

John Malchovich (actor) --> Stanley Kubrick (director) --> in a movie in which someone wants to be a director

Johnny Depp (actor) --> Edward. D. Wood Junior (director) --> in Tim Burton's Ed Wood who wants to be as famous as Orsell Wells

Stranger Than Fiction. I love it! Another 5-star movie, very intelligent one after The Truman Show, Being John Malchovich and Adaptation. I guess one can do a PhD thesis on how an individual is controlled yet by a metaphysical being. Roland Barthes talks about the post-structuralist phenomenon of the death of the author, meaning the author is dead in a text, which meanings are therefore open for interpretation. Now, with Stranger Than Fiction, it's a twist of this thought and pushes the postmodern concept of a text even further: The author resurrects and the character dies. Not only this: the character is the reader. I would love to see how the film can be taught in the department.

Wanna do a piece of essay for Xu Xi: about smoking.

Gina has got back to my on my thesis, FINALLY. I guess I need to reheat my engine after the Easter break.