Masturbation Theory

Let me make one bold assumption - Everyone loves themselves most. What I am going to do is not to prove this statement (as I believe it can't be wrong anyhow / it is true to a certain extent), but I want to illustrate why and how we end up like this.

The key act that leads to this assumption is that we all have masturbated. As I have quoted in my previous blog, Marquez says that sex is the possible consolation one can have when s/he doesn't have love. Then, if I am allowed to further, masturbation would be another piece of condolescene when sex with others is not even a possible choice. The basic difference between masturbation and sex is distinct - you do the former all by yourself (sometimes with various visuals) and the latter with another person (or sometimes more than 1 person, or with other objects in the case of fetishism). Supposedly, sex can sublimate the participants on the emotional level through coporeal embodiment. Upon organsms, each of them will feel more attached to each other in the way that their souls tend to detach from the coporeality and they would feel that they merge together on a surrealistic level. It is often heard that good sex leads to better relationships. I guess it's the merge of the souls during the post-sexual stage that makes this happen. Now, what I want to make clear is that it's not the agents you have sex with that brings one to such an ecstatic level, it's the orgasm(s) that one experiences.

Orgasms also occur in masturbation. Then during the precise moments when sexual climaxes occur, whose souls are going to emerge? It's even more obvious - the soul of oneself will engulf and merge with itself. It's self-destruction in a sense but also a form a construction in another. One loves oneself more as his/her soul merges with its own. Then here comes another question: if two individuals love each other more and more just because of their ever-improving and satisfying sexual activity, then will masturbation come to the same result? Yes and no. No because masturbation to some people is a rather standardized activity, which undergoes the same time, place and procedures. Another insider-point-of-view, however, suggests that masturbation is organic itself since it involves emotions and feelings intiated within the body. In other words, such things are usually out of our control. We can control how our hands hold a fork and knife, or how we can move our feet around when dancing. But we can never control our heartbeats, breathing and when (not) to sweat. In other words, the excitement and sublimation brought by masturbation cannot be controlled and guarded. It is in this sense that masturbation is organic and ever-changing. This ever-changingness, therefore, brings us differences and we, human beings, yearn for differences and variations, which, in return, push us to perform an action. It is also such a nature that we keep masturbating and hence we love ourselves more and more. In short, masturbation makes us more narcissitic. For people who are lonely and out of love, they may find it more difficult to find a new one as they unconsciously love themselves more and more. Self-loving is a form of self-protection. Being out of love can prevent oneself from being hurt by an outside agent. For people who are in love, which means they may have constant sex with their partner and sometimes when their partner is not available, mastubation may come as a 'consolation', they would double the degree of self-loving but they just do not notice it. The reason is simple, they have a partner already. The partner acts as a shield to cover the self-loving action and their attention is directed towards the partner instead of the self. When they break up, they theoretically experience a double loss - the loss of the partner and the loss of the self. The second loss appears because they put their self into the partner in a romantic relationship. They are forced to withdraw their self from the outsider back to him/herself and they are not used to doing so because they tend to place the self into another person. Is it not what all of us do in love? We take out our 'self' and put it into another corpus. And thanks to this double loss, they need time to recover. A short while is needed to mourn for the loss of the partner. Yet a long period of time is required for the loss and the return of the damaged self, depending on how much of your 'self' is put into your partner. This explains why some people move on more quickly than other people. For people who find a new partner shortly after a relationship, they are rather self-absorbed and they did not really devote a true self into another person.

This masturbation theory will make more sense in two incidents. First, when we were young, when we still did not know masturbation existed, we were overjoyed almost every day. We call them the good old days. Once masturbation is carried out, the desire and the sexual drive introduce us to the possibility of romance and being fulfilled by another person. This initiates the vicious cycle. To simply put, happiness exists in the pre-masturbation days in the sense that the sense of loss is ruled out. That explain why we all want to go back to our childrenhood (this excludes the possibilities that some particular traumas have happened to some people when they were children). Second, monks living in solitude are peaceful. I always question whether they are allowed to masturbate. I guess not. They are excluded from the sexual and hence the possible loss of the self and other becomes impossible. This is how they transcend themselves to a non-sexual and non-material world.