Crazy Bitch(es) - Cunts are everywhereFor fuck sake, could you just leave me alone.
Tonight, I received such an email from such a person. Could the world function once normally for me?
Dear Mr. Nicholas Wong, How are you? I am Sandy Lam, a private psychologist in HK. You don't know me yet. In fact I am a good friend of Vivian. Something went wrong between you and her. She told me something happened last week. So I want to solve problem for both of you. About Vivian. She only wants to be your good friend and I feel sorry that you dislike her. She is sweet and lovely and many boys like her (I know). Sometimes she just does what she loves. Please forgive her. According to my advice, she should not send any email to you as you're so furious. I know the whole thing is her fault. However you're not mature and unable to handle the problem. You didn't state your feelings and I feel regret that you can't speak your own feelings to her but only shout loudly. I hope you will discuss questtions or problems with your friends or family. I don't want to tell you what you should do.You can do whatever you think that is right as you're adult. I am forty and have two children. Sometimes my kids fight and I just let them solve the problem by themselves. You may call her to discuss any question or problem if unsolved. God bless you and wish you have a good life! Regards
Sandy Lam
This is my reply: Dear Sandy
It's rather perplexing to have received your email concerning Vivian Siu, your friend. Since I don't understand why she needs to bring in something else to step forward to solve the problem when she is the whole cause of the problem, even though I understand that your ultimate aim is the so-called relationship would be 'at peace' from now on. I truly appreciate your kindness and motivation. Yet, there are a few things I would like to refute, or clarify, so that you would be able to obtain information from both sources rather than taking sides.
First, you stated that Vivian is your close friend and you are a private psychologist. I assume then that your expertise would help her not only analyze her problems, but also lead her to recognize she is the root of the problem. I am not sure whether Vivian is your client who is under regular therapy sessions carried out by you, or you just chat with her casually as a soul mate. However, I would like to suggest you should direct her to someone professional since she presents herself to me as a psychotic since the beginning.
Her appearance was rather annoying, irritating and I should say, a nuisance. Forgive my language if it is too provoking. She started off as a helper of a magazine that my friend and I were working. Yet I started receiving emails from her totally unrelated to the work business. I have asked kindly to stop, but it was she who chose to continue and induldge in her own fantasy.
The most provoking incident was that she intervened my personal space. She came to the campus and disturbed me during an academic conference in university. I was compelled to leave the venue and she simply stalked me, from Central to Causeway Bay, then to Wan Chai. My sister and father were there to tell her I was very upset being stalked by her and stated very clearly that I would not have interest in being a friend of hers. This happened this May - and I am not sure if she did tell you this. Her emails simply keep showing up in my mail box since then, and she even came to my university once to wait for me. She also dropped things I did not ask for into my pigeon hole at the department office.
In short, I have kindly warned her that her behaviours have caused me significant amount of annoyance and I would like her to stop at once. Yet, as stubborn and shameless as she is, she chose to continue. Respect is for people who have a sense of dignity. However, Vivian has just gone too far and trepassed my bottom line. Therefore, I chose to confront her in a rather violent way. There's no officially right or wrong way in this matter. She appeared and disturbed someone's life as she liked it. By the same token, I would just like to inform her my feelings in the way I wanted. I assume normal and mentally-healthy people do not approach people like her, by being a stalker and constant nuisance. I have my social life and she also has her own. Yet, when I refuse to incorporate her into mine, from your email, it seems that it would be my fault by not stating my purposes clearly. I did state my preferences clearly yet she rejected to admit them. I wonder on what grounds should I be submissive to this woman who came out from god-knows-where in this planet.
You also wrote that I am not mature enough in speaking honestly to her my feelings. It's really a sarcasm to me since my furious response, I assume, could successfully convey my feeling - that is, fury. She just did not get the kind of response she wants to get and there is no other worse reason for you to stand up for her to suggest that I should stay at peaceful terms with her. I would like to pass this message one last time through you, as her good friend. Peaceful terms are impossible, because I don't want to be related to her, or even to her friends anymore by any means.
There is no way I would call her ever again to discuss the so-called problems, because she is the ultimate origin of the problem. Sandy, could you not recognise it? If a stranger keeps stalking you and disturb your everyday life by sending you emails and giving you things you don't want. No matter how many times you have signalled your wish, she still stays and behaves in a stubborn way. Would you be such reasonable, still? I may sound like a kid to you; however, you are in position to question my maturity. On the contrary, by being a professional private psychologist, you merely hear the story from her side and make judgement This leaves me some doubts concerning your identity as a sender in the sense that whether you are giving her/me friendly advice or professional one?
If you are concerned about how upset and stressed she is when being rejected and confronted by me such vigorously, I guess you are also obliged to understanding the mental health of the person being disturbed - that is ME - professionally. I would not like to talk deep here on this topic since it's very personal matter. All I could say is that I am also affected. So, my question is: why do I need to be disturbed and affected by someone I entirely don't know and still need to reconcile? Reasons and respect are for people who make sense and comprehensible. I am just afraid Vivian is not one of them in my mind.
And I would like to stop here. I hope I could allow you to know another of the story and my true feelings. As I stated before, I would like her to leave me alone from now on. Therefore, would you kindly enough to pass the message to her. By 'from now on', I mean 'forever'. There is also no need for you to reply me once again to further explain things or even to correct my attitudes because I believe I only live up to myself and people whom I care about. Call me egoistic, if you wish. Shall I receive any more emails concerning Vivian Siu from whoever, I would talk to my counsellor in my university and since you informed me that you are also a psychologist. I guess I would leave the matters for my counsellor to deal with you professionally.
Best
Nicholas
