JOKE 1
Quotation of Nich Wong (Cite me if you're going to use it! Don't steal it!):
Ex-es are like ghosts, better invisible than visible, better not seeing than seeing.
The first line you say to a ghost (through a psychic), or to an ex (hopefully without a psychic)s, is probably the same:
"How are you doing there?"
Joke: To catch up with the previous line. The story goes like this:
A teacher is teaching a student English.
"Remember to say 'How are you doing?' when you meet your friends!" said the teacher.
"Then what will they answer?" the student asked.
"They will probably say 'Me? Good!'" the teacher replied.
But the student is too stupid that he remembers only partly of what the teacher has said. He repeats the followings in his everyday practice:
"Who are you doing?"
"Me? Good!"
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Masturbation Theory
Let me make one bold assumption - Everyone loves themselves most. What I am going to do is not to prove this statement (as I believe it can't be wrong anyhow / it is true to a certain extent), but I want to illustrate why and how we end up like this.
The key act that leads to this assumption is that we all have masturbated. As I have quoted in my previous blog, Marquez says that sex is the possible consolation one can have when s/he doesn't have love. Then, if I am allowed to further, masturbation would be another piece of condolescene when sex with others is not even a possible choice. The basic difference between masturbation and sex is distinct - you do the former all by yourself (sometimes with various visuals) and the latter with another person (or sometimes more than 1 person, or with other objects in the case of fetishism). Supposedly, sex can sublimate the participants on the emotional level through coporeal embodiment. Upon organsms, each of them will feel more attached to each other in the way that their souls tend to detach from the coporeality and they would feel that they merge together on a surrealistic level. It is often heard that good sex leads to better relationships. I guess it's the merge of the souls during the post-sexual stage that makes this happen. Now, what I want to make clear is that it's not the agents you have sex with that brings one to such an ecstatic level, it's the orgasm(s) that one experiences.
Orgasms also occur in masturbation. Then during the precise moments when sexual climaxes occur, whose souls are going to emerge? It's even more obvious - the soul of oneself will engulf and merge with itself. It's self-destruction in a sense but also a form a construction in another. One loves oneself more as his/her soul merges with its own. Then here comes another question: if two individuals love each other more and more just because of their ever-improving and satisfying sexual activity, then will masturbation come to the same result? Yes and no. No because masturbation to some people is a rather standardized activity, which undergoes the same time, place and procedures. Another insider-point-of-view, however, suggests that masturbation is organic itself since it involves emotions and feelings intiated within the body. In other words, such things are usually out of our control. We can control how our hands hold a fork and knife, or how we can move our feet around when dancing. But we can never control our heartbeats, breathing and when (not) to sweat. In other words, the excitement and sublimation brought by masturbation cannot be controlled and guarded. It is in this sense that masturbation is organic and ever-changing. This ever-changingness, therefore, brings us differences and we, human beings, yearn for differences and variations, which, in return, push us to perform an action. It is also such a nature that we keep masturbating and hence we love ourselves more and more. In short, masturbation makes us more narcissitic. For people who are lonely and out of love, they may find it more difficult to find a new one as they unconsciously love themselves more and more. Self-loving is a form of self-protection. Being out of love can prevent oneself from being hurt by an outside agent. For people who are in love, which means they may have constant sex with their partner and sometimes when their partner is not available, mastubation may come as a 'consolation', they would double the degree of self-loving but they just do not notice it. The reason is simple, they have a partner already. The partner acts as a shield to cover the self-loving action and their attention is directed towards the partner instead of the self. When they break up, they theoretically experience a double loss - the loss of the partner and the loss of the self. The second loss appears because they put their self into the partner in a romantic relationship. They are forced to withdraw their self from the outsider back to him/herself and they are not used to doing so because they tend to place the self into another person. Is it not what all of us do in love? We take out our 'self' and put it into another corpus. And thanks to this double loss, they need time to recover. A short while is needed to mourn for the loss of the partner. Yet a long period of time is required for the loss and the return of the damaged self, depending on how much of your 'self' is put into your partner. This explains why some people move on more quickly than other people. For people who find a new partner shortly after a relationship, they are rather self-absorbed and they did not really devote a true self into another person.
This masturbation theory will make more sense in two incidents. First, when we were young, when we still did not know masturbation existed, we were overjoyed almost every day. We call them the good old days. Once masturbation is carried out, the desire and the sexual drive introduce us to the possibility of romance and being fulfilled by another person. This initiates the vicious cycle. To simply put, happiness exists in the pre-masturbation days in the sense that the sense of loss is ruled out. That explain why we all want to go back to our childrenhood (this excludes the possibilities that some particular traumas have happened to some people when they were children). Second, monks living in solitude are peaceful. I always question whether they are allowed to masturbate. I guess not. They are excluded from the sexual and hence the possible loss of the self and other becomes impossible. This is how they transcend themselves to a non-sexual and non-material world.
Let me make one bold assumption - Everyone loves themselves most. What I am going to do is not to prove this statement (as I believe it can't be wrong anyhow / it is true to a certain extent), but I want to illustrate why and how we end up like this.
The key act that leads to this assumption is that we all have masturbated. As I have quoted in my previous blog, Marquez says that sex is the possible consolation one can have when s/he doesn't have love. Then, if I am allowed to further, masturbation would be another piece of condolescene when sex with others is not even a possible choice. The basic difference between masturbation and sex is distinct - you do the former all by yourself (sometimes with various visuals) and the latter with another person (or sometimes more than 1 person, or with other objects in the case of fetishism). Supposedly, sex can sublimate the participants on the emotional level through coporeal embodiment. Upon organsms, each of them will feel more attached to each other in the way that their souls tend to detach from the coporeality and they would feel that they merge together on a surrealistic level. It is often heard that good sex leads to better relationships. I guess it's the merge of the souls during the post-sexual stage that makes this happen. Now, what I want to make clear is that it's not the agents you have sex with that brings one to such an ecstatic level, it's the orgasm(s) that one experiences.
Orgasms also occur in masturbation. Then during the precise moments when sexual climaxes occur, whose souls are going to emerge? It's even more obvious - the soul of oneself will engulf and merge with itself. It's self-destruction in a sense but also a form a construction in another. One loves oneself more as his/her soul merges with its own. Then here comes another question: if two individuals love each other more and more just because of their ever-improving and satisfying sexual activity, then will masturbation come to the same result? Yes and no. No because masturbation to some people is a rather standardized activity, which undergoes the same time, place and procedures. Another insider-point-of-view, however, suggests that masturbation is organic itself since it involves emotions and feelings intiated within the body. In other words, such things are usually out of our control. We can control how our hands hold a fork and knife, or how we can move our feet around when dancing. But we can never control our heartbeats, breathing and when (not) to sweat. In other words, the excitement and sublimation brought by masturbation cannot be controlled and guarded. It is in this sense that masturbation is organic and ever-changing. This ever-changingness, therefore, brings us differences and we, human beings, yearn for differences and variations, which, in return, push us to perform an action. It is also such a nature that we keep masturbating and hence we love ourselves more and more. In short, masturbation makes us more narcissitic. For people who are lonely and out of love, they may find it more difficult to find a new one as they unconsciously love themselves more and more. Self-loving is a form of self-protection. Being out of love can prevent oneself from being hurt by an outside agent. For people who are in love, which means they may have constant sex with their partner and sometimes when their partner is not available, mastubation may come as a 'consolation', they would double the degree of self-loving but they just do not notice it. The reason is simple, they have a partner already. The partner acts as a shield to cover the self-loving action and their attention is directed towards the partner instead of the self. When they break up, they theoretically experience a double loss - the loss of the partner and the loss of the self. The second loss appears because they put their self into the partner in a romantic relationship. They are forced to withdraw their self from the outsider back to him/herself and they are not used to doing so because they tend to place the self into another person. Is it not what all of us do in love? We take out our 'self' and put it into another corpus. And thanks to this double loss, they need time to recover. A short while is needed to mourn for the loss of the partner. Yet a long period of time is required for the loss and the return of the damaged self, depending on how much of your 'self' is put into your partner. This explains why some people move on more quickly than other people. For people who find a new partner shortly after a relationship, they are rather self-absorbed and they did not really devote a true self into another person.
This masturbation theory will make more sense in two incidents. First, when we were young, when we still did not know masturbation existed, we were overjoyed almost every day. We call them the good old days. Once masturbation is carried out, the desire and the sexual drive introduce us to the possibility of romance and being fulfilled by another person. This initiates the vicious cycle. To simply put, happiness exists in the pre-masturbation days in the sense that the sense of loss is ruled out. That explain why we all want to go back to our childrenhood (this excludes the possibilities that some particular traumas have happened to some people when they were children). Second, monks living in solitude are peaceful. I always question whether they are allowed to masturbate. I guess not. They are excluded from the sexual and hence the possible loss of the self and other becomes impossible. This is how they transcend themselves to a non-sexual and non-material world.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
City of Prostitutes
I recently had a friend visiting me from somewhere. I forgot where he came from as I did not pick him up at the airport. All I knew was he spoke a different language. Anyway, I took the opportunity to show him around my home city known as City D worldwide. In the underground train, he asked me what activities the people in City D usually did. I shot him a blank gaze and answered: sleeping, eating, clubbing, working, wasting their time and having sex. He then laughed a bit and looked into another direction, avoiding my sight. I wonder why he laughed and looked away. Is it that the people in his hometown have a different lifestyle? Or is it because he thought the people in City D wasted the time of their own lives in a trivial manner? Or did he just laugh at the point that we had sex to kill our time? I did not show my discontent towards his reaction. I just imagined things.
Fifty years from now, the government would have banned having sex (before they could do anything about smoking indoors). The government makes this stunning decision not because of the prevalence of a particular fatal bug that could spread to other individuals through different sexual acts, but that the city residents are diagnosed to be more and more lonely and isolated with the accumulation of sexual activities they engaged in. Medical practitioners claim that many people in City D do not fuck for a reason. This is what the report says: “Participating in various modes of sexual activities (including masturbation), to people of different sexual orientations, has become a daily habit for people living in City D. 87% of the respondents stated that they regarded having sex equally common and habitual as brushing teeth, showering and talking on the cell phone. 79% of them do have sex more than once a day, if not as frequently as they talk on their phones. When asked about why they had sex, an alarming 97% of interviewees could not give a solid and logical answer. They either gave a pass to the question or answered that they did not believe there was a why because they presumed it was what most people were doing and hence there was nothing wrong about it.”
The report goes on like this: “City D residents should be alerted that the purposeless but habitual sexual activities are strongly linked to the increasing cases of suicide caused by depression. The government has been trying to educate the public about the treatments and prevention of depression but the hideous linkage between the mental illness and the sudden rise of post-sexual emptiness is neglected. In order to strengthen the social unity to better the economy of City D, we need to have citizens who are more clear-minded and determined in all aspects of their lives. Therefore, evident with the data provided in this report, such a vague concept on the motivation of any sexual activities could do nothing but harm the progress of the city and it is suggested that having sex (both indoor and outdoor) should be banned.”
The government listens to the opinion given by the medical professionals and enacts the law. Anyone who violates this law will be castrated – the men will have their dicks cut off while the women will have their vaginas sown up. The residents in City D do not rebel, but a month after the law is passed, they do find it difficult to get used to living with one regular habit forcibly removed from their daily schedule. Since they do not consider having sex as a part of their civil rights, there is no massive protest and demonstration. They just take it as another case similar to the previous ban on selling poultry (both edible and inedible) in order to stop the bird flu virus from contaminating the city. Successfully, a few months later, they residents replace having sex with another leisure activity, classical Chinese calligraphy. The government is very happy about the positive response of the public and its cooperation with the city planning. However, its economy does not progress rosily as predicted. There is a huge number of prostitutes out of job and every day they line up outside different government offices to apply for social aids and bankruptcy. The news in other cities also report the situation and the government in City D is mocked at. The government admits that they have underestimated the number of underground whores in the city and suggest all the whores should form a union to come up with more concrete policies on how the government can offer help through different means. Since most of the whores are better at dealing with genitals than the brain, it is reckoned that it will take ages to negotiate with the government officials. During this period, the government has spent billions to provide the unemployed with urgent financial needs and the deficits have reached its new high. City D is now a more united city, but the people are not any happier or cheerful even though they still spend most of their time in eating, drinking, sleeping, working and Chinese calligraphy. The city itself is getting poorer and poorer and they start to worry that they could not eat what they like, liquors will become more expensive, they may need to work over-time to keep their jobs. At times when the financial situation is at risk, high culture stuff like Chinese calligraphy will become a luxury and useless. They are prepared for the worst. They will probably miss the forever-satisfying entertainment by putting their own genital into another’s body when they do not even have a dime in their pocket. This could only happen in their imagination but not in the reality. Having this thought, they will only become more devastated. Depression is bound to come back.
The train finally arrived at the station and I told my visiting friend that it was time to get off. I would bring him to see other places in City D, a place I did not know whether he liked or disliked. All I hoped was that he would not laugh and look away again like he did on the train. It was such a despising act on our local culture. To show a visitor your own city that he does not find amazing is definitely a waste of time. Don’t worry. I am used to it. Wasting time is in our daily schedule.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
明年今日 - I know I will still be the same
若這一束吊燈傾瀉下來 或者我已不會存在即使你不愛 亦不需要分開若這一刻我竟嚴重痴呆跟本不需要被愛永遠在床上發夢 餘生都不會再悲哀 人總需要勇敢生存 我還是重新許願 例如學會 承受失戀 明年今日 別要再失眠 床褥都改變 如果有幸會面 或在同伴新婚的盛宴 惶惑地等待你出現 明年今日 未見你一年 誰捨得改變 離開你六十年 但願能認得出你的子女 臨別亦聽得到你講再見
在有生的瞬間能遇到你竟花光所有運氣到這日才發現 曾呼吸過空氣
I don't know this song can be such sad with her voice.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Quotes of the Day
It's from a beautiful novel I am reading written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez called Memories of My Melancholy Whores:
"I never forgot her somber look as we were eating: Why were you so old when we met? I answered with the truth: Age isn't how old you are but how old you feel."
"Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love."
It's from a beautiful novel I am reading written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez called Memories of My Melancholy Whores:
"I never forgot her somber look as we were eating: Why were you so old when we met? I answered with the truth: Age isn't how old you are but how old you feel."
"Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love."
My Ex-file
I want to file a record on my ex-es because of several reasons:
(1) I want to remind myself of their existence;
(2) I want them to remind themselves of my existence in their lives (if they have a chance to read this blog);
(3) I want to have a more tidy account on the reasons of breaking up, hopefully to know more about myself;
(4) I want to know why I fell in love with each of them;
(5) I want the people who want to know me more to read this instead of asking me all the time;
(6) Finally, I want to declare that I have loved each of them, seriously.
Okay, let's start.
Reasons of breaking up:
1st (Sept 1998) - He was not as passionate as he was when he first knew me. I couldn't stand the distance when I was sick and needed to have an operation. I found out 5 years later that I was the third person.
2nd (Sept 1999) - I suspected that he had a thing with my friend, which later, after the breakup, was proved to be correct.
3rd (Aug 2000) - Distance. He was in the UK and I was in HK.
4th (time forgotten) - Just tired of the game he was playing.
5th (time forgotten) - I fell in love with a lunatic.
6th (time forgotten) - I liked someone else, plus I flirted with the partner of my best friend. I lost both a lover and a friend.
7th (time forgotten) - I felt like being single even when dating. He went to play at weekend while I managed my own activities.
8th (time forgotten) - Similar to the reason above (ie. the 7th). I was too demanding to him, perhaps.
9th (March[?] 2005) - Different logic. He couldn't see his own faults and I was the one, as he said, stirred up all the problems when there were no problems.
10th (Feb 2006) - He claimed that I said something that hurt him. I accused him of not calling me at all.
Reasons of falling in love with them:
1st - I liked him. First love. He comforted me when I was turned down by someone else he knew.
2nd - Too caring. He was simply there when I was cheated by someone he knew.
3rd - Loved him at the first sight.
4th - Loved him at the first sight. I knew him in a pub and ended up going to karaoke on the following day with him and his friends. I still remember the first song both of us sang.
5th - Talented and exotic and rich.
6th - He's cute and he had a car. All the things I dreamed of.
7th - He's cute and very tall. Energetic.
8th - With single eyelids. He just had the charm and sex appeal to me.
9th - Knew him for a long time before. I thought he's mature and down-to-earth. I knew him when I was about to have another operation in the hosptial where his dad stayed.
10th - He treated me very well. Once I saw him, I became free of worries.
Conclusions:
(1) The reasons of breaking up become more and more trivial.
(2) The reasons I fell in love with people are more consistent than the those of breaking up.
(3) I have 10 partners since 1998 September. Do the maths: 10 is divided by 7.5 = 1.3333333333333333...... I spent 1.33333333333..... years with each of them on average. Of course, this figure is not true.
(4)Who do I still keep in touch? The 2nd, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th. It seems that I am better with recent ex-es than ancient ones.
(5) Who can I really rely on? Perhaps only the 2nd one. Yes. I also feel disappointed.
(6) I am a slut.
(7) I should reserve more seats for my ex-es in my funeral, predicting that I will kill myself (as told my Paddy Ching) when I am between 56-60. By the formula above and assuming that I will die at 60 (which is year 2039), I will have had 55.999999999.... partners. To round off, it should be 56. I will ask my funeral coordinator to take this into record.
(8) My pallbearer list: 10 people as follows (if you see your name, don't be surprised. Just show up unless you die before me):
1. Glory Cheung (fag-hag)
2. Kyle Fung (2nd)
3. Charles Hui (life-time sister)
4. Joanne Cheung (ex-colleague at SJC)
5. Benny Wong (secondary school classmate in RC)
6. Adrian Chung (6th)
7. Atom Cheung
8. Tommy Lo
9. Joseph Wong (ex-colleague at SJC)
10. Can't come up with a name now!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
City of Stalkers
I want to talk about it - I was stalked. This proves once again why women are maniacs. She followed me all the way from HKU campus to King's Hotel where I play pool all the time with my friends. She stroke up several conversations with me but I was very annoyed. She kept bugging me. She was walking right behind me most of the time. I felt like I was a celebrity, if not a thief. I recalled the movie and the book by Ian McEwan caleld Enduring Love. People stalk you and keep appearing in your life and claim that they know you even if you don't. Later, you start to doubt yourself. Your identity is shaken. Who you are and who you know is not decided by your memory and conscious. It's defined by others, the Other.
What kind of people would stalk people like that? I don't think I need to emphasize that they are, first of all, nuts - fucking lunatics! But what concern me here is what triggers the thought of stalking a particular person such ambitiously. It's all about the eyes and the gaze. We see a person and fall in love with him/her at the first sight. The gaze is made romantic by them even the sparks are absent. The first sight serves as a drive for a second one, a third, and so on. So they stalk you. I am a sexist, I proudly admit. I have just known and encountered too many women who are schizophrenic.
I want to talk about it - I was stalked. This proves once again why women are maniacs. She followed me all the way from HKU campus to King's Hotel where I play pool all the time with my friends. She stroke up several conversations with me but I was very annoyed. She kept bugging me. She was walking right behind me most of the time. I felt like I was a celebrity, if not a thief. I recalled the movie and the book by Ian McEwan caleld Enduring Love. People stalk you and keep appearing in your life and claim that they know you even if you don't. Later, you start to doubt yourself. Your identity is shaken. Who you are and who you know is not decided by your memory and conscious. It's defined by others, the Other.
What kind of people would stalk people like that? I don't think I need to emphasize that they are, first of all, nuts - fucking lunatics! But what concern me here is what triggers the thought of stalking a particular person such ambitiously. It's all about the eyes and the gaze. We see a person and fall in love with him/her at the first sight. The gaze is made romantic by them even the sparks are absent. The first sight serves as a drive for a second one, a third, and so on. So they stalk you. I am a sexist, I proudly admit. I have just known and encountered too many women who are schizophrenic.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
在王子酒店巧遇梁漢文! So happy! I hope I can find someone like him, so my type of guy!
Anyway, today didn't pass as badly as I thought. My phone did not ring for too many times. It doesn't matter. It did not ring much when I was dating either. I played pool twice today. Crazy Friday! And I am glad that my mom was there to watch me for a bit and then at night my dad was there too. It's the first time I played with him. It seems that it could be a potential activity that we do together, bridging the generation gap!
Saturday.... another day that I am supposed to be out. I think I will stay home and read and study. Originally I have two tickets for a Japanese horror in Langham Palace at 1130pm. Now I think I may give up the tickets. It's kind of stupid to go to Kowloon to see a movie for only one hour. If there were two of us, the case and feeling would be different. Now, things changed and so did my feelings.
I don't know why I fucked up this time, again and again. Am I the one to blame? I just demand a little more action in calling me and this still can't be done. I really don't understand the logic behind. What am I? You tried so hard to get me and then put me aside. What am I? What am I? I think I know the way two people can maintain a relationship. It's just so not your way.
Just want to say 梁漢文 is not the type of guy who works in Cafe de Carol. He is cool in my eyes. So what?
Friday, April 14, 2006
I know nobody keeps updating my blog. If you happen to be one of the few people who do so and you happen to be a fond and keen reader, I should recommend you a book written by Umberto Eco called How to Travel with a Salmon. It is a collection of easy to read essays. They are extremely funny and mean. Nothing challenging. You can simply flip over those you are not interested. No harm at all. But the sarcasm and cynicism makes me feel that I am reading the personal encounters of Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye.
My favourite essays include: "How to Use the Taxi Driver", "How Not to Talk about Soccer", "How to spend time" and of course the titled essay "How to Travel with a Salmon".
If you go for meanness, read it and it makes you feel good.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Match Point and Cheating
Woody Allen's new Match Point is my starting film in this year's Hong Kong International Film Festival. Yeah. He has finally made a come-back. Since The Curse of the Jade Scorpio (I don't even remember the exact title!), I feel that he has trapped himself in a tiny nut shell of comedy and black humour. Nobody can really laugh with the lines. The films in the end are thought to be silly and pointless. Woody Allen can't be pointless! A genius can't be pointless!
Match Point is about cheating in love. I have never cheated, in exams. I am sort of proud of it. When I was teaching in St Joseph's, I saw students cheat but I did not really make a big fuss out of it. I usually signalled the cheaters that I noticed their wrongdoing, and usually they would stop. Yet, I remember once, a student went too far. I simply jotted down his name and maybe he received a penalty mark reduction. I didn't really give a shit. I did my job, he should have paid for what he did.
Yet, I cheated in love, and still do, perhaps. I ask myself: why can't I stick to one person? I can and believe me, I did. But growing up, I start to realise the difference between love and lust, love and sex, love and like. I don't love people in the way I did anymore. I gave my full self to them. I was romantic. I was passionate, and I was devoted. There's a fixed amount of energy in one's heart. So long as you have used it all up, then you become indifferent. It's just a problem of sooner or later. I used it all up many years ago. I stick to a person because of... stability? security? I guess I do so to avoid being single. Honestly, I like being in love. I enjoy this kind of lifestyle. So I move from one person to another and I receive a bad name. Bad names are everywhere. I can't care too much. Of course, I admit there are times I fucked things up. I regret, but nobody knows and I have my lessons.
People cheat because of lust. The sexual drive is too hard to suppress. There's a thing called self-control. Why do we control ourselves from what excite and motivate us? The society has many rules, which are invented by the white middle-class heterosexuals. I obey some of them and violate the rest. If we control ourselves from doing what we want, what kind of life and whose life are we living? No one can guarantee our days will turn better when we obey those rules. Fates are just organic. They evolve on their own. They don't need any rules to show the way out. Most of us let our dicks think too much.
Woody Allen once said: "The brain is a man's second favorite organ." I guess this explains why we all cheat.
We cheat because we all love ourselves most. Admit it. I do.
Friday, March 24, 2006
CYCLE
I am in a cycle
What is the cycle?
I am the cycle.
What kind of cycle is it?
It's me, myself.
How do you know it?
I don't know. I just be myself.
Is it really a cycle?
I guess so. I repeat everything I did.
I am doing it, and will be so some time later.
Again?
Again.
How do you get out of it?
I won't. It's me.
Who are you then?
I told you, I am the cycle.
What do you do in the cycle?
Love, love, love.
Only this?
And dance, dance, dance.
That's all?
Yes.
Do you like the cycle?
No.
Why are you the cycle then?
I have no choice.
The cycle comes to you?
We come to each other.
When did the cycle appear?
When I was 19.
When did you start being yourself?
Also when I was 19.
Do you want to get out of it?
I don't know.
I want to,
but I will lose my self if I do.
Can they be separate?
No, not now.
What does the cycle look like?
It looks like me.
What’s the shape of the cycle?
It shapes like a cycle,
but with angles.
What do you shape like then?
I am shaped within the cycle.
By it, and merge to be it,
With curves.
Whose cycle is it?
Mine.
Does it annoy you?
Like I annoy myself.
Can you see it?
No. I live with it
and I live to be it.
One can't see what one lives to be.
It's a phase. A moment of time
in one's life.
How can you detect the cycle?
By living.
I am in a cycle
What is the cycle?
I am the cycle.
What kind of cycle is it?
It's me, myself.
How do you know it?
I don't know. I just be myself.
Is it really a cycle?
I guess so. I repeat everything I did.
I am doing it, and will be so some time later.
Again?
Again.
How do you get out of it?
I won't. It's me.
Who are you then?
I told you, I am the cycle.
What do you do in the cycle?
Love, love, love.
Only this?
And dance, dance, dance.
That's all?
Yes.
Do you like the cycle?
No.
Why are you the cycle then?
I have no choice.
The cycle comes to you?
We come to each other.
When did the cycle appear?
When I was 19.
When did you start being yourself?
Also when I was 19.
Do you want to get out of it?
I don't know.
I want to,
but I will lose my self if I do.
Can they be separate?
No, not now.
What does the cycle look like?
It looks like me.
What’s the shape of the cycle?
It shapes like a cycle,
but with angles.
What do you shape like then?
I am shaped within the cycle.
By it, and merge to be it,
With curves.
Whose cycle is it?
Mine.
Does it annoy you?
Like I annoy myself.
Can you see it?
No. I live with it
and I live to be it.
One can't see what one lives to be.
It's a phase. A moment of time
in one's life.
How can you detect the cycle?
By living.
Difference
We hang out with people of sameness;
For those who are different from us,
We fall in love with them.
The difference is where the objet petit a lies.
When you get closer,
it's not there anymore.
Like ghosts, difference haunts us.
We need to overcome many sorts
of differences in our life.
We usually crash with one another.
We get hurt, but we survive.
The worst kind of death is being lost.
No where to go. Nothing you can do.
We end up loving ourselves most.
We hang out with people of sameness;
For those who are different from us,
We fall in love with them.
The difference is where the objet petit a lies.
When you get closer,
it's not there anymore.
Like ghosts, difference haunts us.
We need to overcome many sorts
of differences in our life.
We usually crash with one another.
We get hurt, but we survive.
The worst kind of death is being lost.
No where to go. Nothing you can do.
We end up loving ourselves most.
Another argument, another clash, another sentence, another hesitation.
Another person, another situation, another pattern, another feeling.
Another thinking, another logic, another chance, another hope.
Another emotion, another happiness, another freedom, another warmth.
Another presents, another memory, another nickname, another sweetness.
Another fragrance, another smile, another height, another weight.
Another face, another name, another address, another mobile.
Another lover, another victim, another winner, the same result.
Another person, another situation, another pattern, another feeling.
Another thinking, another logic, another chance, another hope.
Another emotion, another happiness, another freedom, another warmth.
Another presents, another memory, another nickname, another sweetness.
Another fragrance, another smile, another height, another weight.
Another face, another name, another address, another mobile.
Another lover, another victim, another winner, the same result.
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